Summarizing Perfection

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In my ongoing attempt to beg as many people as possible to visit this blog, I’ve joined nearly every social networking site known to man and a few known only to lesser primates. I’m the only human member of Monkey … Continued

Don’t Fall

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I had grand plans for elaborate renovations when we bought our home. Now that we’ve been here for almost five years, I do the bare minimum to keep the place from being condemned. I’m usually happy as long as wild … Continued

Too Hot and Cold for Compromise

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Science says most people are about 98.6 degrees, but in practice men and women live their lives at vastly different temperatures. Guys often complain about being hot, while girls generally complain about everything. Their whining about being cold, though, is … Continued

Don’t Trust Relatives

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The biggest mistakes make for the best stories. If you feel compassion for your fellow human beings, you should stop reading now. Also, if you are the wife, girlfriend, or mother of any of the individuals mentioned below, please be … Continued

Not Big on Bigfoot

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I’ve let down my dad countless times, but never more than the day I told him I don’t believe in Bigfoot. Not a lot has gone right for my father lately. Big Gulps are banned, sterilizing poor people is taboo, … Continued

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