Back Porch Bathroom

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I have the laziest dogs on the planet. That’s impressive considering how low the bar is set. Even the hardest working German shepherd on the police force still naps 18 hours a day. I was born to the wrong species. … Continued

Yes-Men

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Nobody likes to be wrong. At least that’s what I’ve heard second-hand. I don’t have any personal experience with it since I’ve never made a mistake. We all have our burdens. Mine is being perfect. Unfortunately, not everyone recognizes my … Continued

Overly Taxing

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The U.S. tax system is absurd. I don’t object to paying money to the government, but I take issue with making people tally their own bills. Perhaps lawmakers don’t realize most of us learned math in American public schools. Congress … Continued

Blue-Collar Overlords

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I used to think politicians and CEOs ran the world, but it turns out the real power lies with the blue-collar guys they boss around. I learned that lesson the only way I know how: by screwing up and almost … Continued

Win the Medal, Lose at Life

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There’s nothing more disappointing than winning at the Winter Olympics. A country cold enough to produce a champion is too frigid to support human life. The nationalities of the men and women on the medal podium let everyone know the … Continued

Sports Grief

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So your team lost the big game. Sports are supposed to be a pleasant distraction from the misery of life, but each season ends in crushing disappointment for the fans of all but one team. Chances are your favorite players … Continued

Mad World

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If the nightly news has a theme, it’s that the world has a shortage of happy people. Maybe that guy with the Molotov cocktail is mad because a general overthrew his government, or perhaps he’s simply upset referees let NBA … Continued

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