Unhappy Camper

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On cold days like today, I think back to those times in Boy Scouts when I almost froze to death. Each year, I went on a mandatory two-night winter campout to experience all that nature had to offer, which was … Continued

Girl Problems

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We told our 3-year-old Betsy she’ll soon have another little sister. This was her reaction: I’m not great at reading human emotions, but I don’t think those are tears of joy. I don’t know what terrible thing I did to … Continued

Gender Day

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There are few surprises in my life when it comes to babies. My offspring arrive right on time every time because the only thing I do well is curse the world with miniature versions of myself. I’m like a disease, … Continued

Too Cold for a Snow Day

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“Congratulations, you won a surprise vacation. It’s to your own house, it’s bitterly cold outside, and you’ll spend most of your time doing back-breaking manual labor. Oh, and your kids will be there, too. Enjoy.” That’s the essence of a … Continued

Out of Ink, Full of Evil

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Evil is OK as long as it’s profitable, at least according to most modern corporations. The Ford Motor Company scares people into driving more by causing plane crashes, and Goldman Sachs requires everyone who applies for a job there to … Continued

The Moon is for People

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Right now there’s a robot driving around Mars and a satellite leaving the solar system. We’re letting machines do all the cool jobs, and one of these days they’re bound to notice. Lifeless automatons can tackle missions we can’t because … Continued

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