Get Bent, Lent

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Lent is finally here. For Protestants, that means nothing, but for me and my fellow Catholics, it’s 40 days of misery and despair. Roughly 2,000 years ago, Jesus spent some time in the desert, and for some reason that means … Continued

Back Porch Bathroom

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I have the laziest dogs on the planet. That’s impressive considering how low the bar is set. Even the hardest working German shepherd on the police force still naps 18 hours a day. I was born to the wrong species. … Continued

Yes-Men

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Nobody likes to be wrong. At least that’s what I’ve heard second-hand. I don’t have any personal experience with it since I’ve never made a mistake. We all have our burdens. Mine is being perfect. Unfortunately, not everyone recognizes my … Continued

Overly Taxing

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The U.S. tax system is absurd. I don’t object to paying money to the government, but I take issue with making people tally their own bills. Perhaps lawmakers don’t realize most of us learned math in American public schools. Congress … Continued

Blue-Collar Overlords

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I used to think politicians and CEOs ran the world, but it turns out the real power lies with the blue-collar guys they boss around. I learned that lesson the only way I know how: by screwing up and almost … Continued

Win the Medal, Lose at Life

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There’s nothing more disappointing than winning at the Winter Olympics. A country cold enough to produce a champion is too frigid to support human life. The nationalities of the men and women on the medal podium let everyone know the … Continued

Sports Grief

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So your team lost the big game. Sports are supposed to be a pleasant distraction from the misery of life, but each season ends in crushing disappointment for the fans of all but one team. Chances are your favorite players … Continued

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